man fallilng through a tunnel
Image by John F from Pixabay

At a Way of Mastery 10-day retreat I attended, the teachers used the symbol of a piano note we play over and over again to describe the sacred core wound. In other words, it is a tone or resonance we continually play until our inner ear opens to hear another higher vibration. Eventually our one note becomes many notes as we join in harmony with the symphony of love.

There is a spiritual metaphor that has been around for many years that I find helpful in understanding our process in healing the sacred wound:

I am walking down the street and do not notice a huge hole I fall in. I am stunned, disoriented and upset, so it takes a while to figure out how to get out of the hole. Eventually I do. I may fall into this same hole a few more times and struggle to climb out. One time I walk down the street and catch a glimpse of the hole—but it’s too late and I fall in. This time I remember quickly how to climb out. Next time I am walking down the street, I notice the hole before I fall in. I may walk down the street often avoiding and walking around the hole. One day, I walk down the street and the hole has completely disappeared as if it never existed.

Same Hole, Same Old

When we fall into a hole of our own making, it is probably a situation we’ve experienced before. There may be different actors and a different setting, but the essence of the problem is the same.

A prime example is having a relationship with the same type of person over and over again and it always ending in anger and separation. This happens often with our romantic relationships in the search for the one with whom we want to spend our life. If these types of relationships continue to end in anger and pain, then it is time to go inward.

innerself subscribe graphic

This also happens with long-term relationships when they’ve been sustained with co-dependent behaviors. There is no reason to judge -- all relationships within separation are co-dependent. I have certainly spent many years of my marriage dissolving the ties of co-dependency that bind me to outdated expectations. Until we do the inner work to understand the feelings and beliefs that guide our actions, we will bring the unhealed part of ourselves into any relationship, potentially giving us another opportunity to do our inner work.

The Hole We Fall In and Live In

The hole we fall in can either be a place we remain stuck or it can become a portal to healing and transformation. We always have a choice.

Some people remain stuck in the same hole for their entire life, which generates another lifetime to heal this stuck place. Of course, sometimes it takes us a while to understand, which is why we often fall into the same hole many times before we can walk around the hole. Once we see the hole as a portal to a higher vibration, we walk through, and it dissolves as if it was never there.

Healing The Sacred Wound

I have fallen into many holes associated with my sacred wound during my life. Many have been variations on the theme of being a perfect loving mother. This is a mother who protects and loves unconditionally; who creates space for her children to grow and follow their own hearts; who listens without criticizing; and who provides appropriate structure.

Of course, this ideal of being a perfect mother was created with the separated ego that wants me to fail in order to keep me believing in separation from the Beloved Source. Thus, I fall short of my ideal over and over again. I’d fall into the hole of worry about my children never quite trusting they are always safe within God’s loving embrace. The inner work I’ve done with my daughter Sarah while writing this chapter shows me that I’ve never been an ideal mom and that ultimately is a blessing.

I often fell into the hole of self-doubt, self-judgment and anger at God for how women have been treated. I brought this anger into this incarnation from many other lifetimes. There were periods in my life when I lived in this hole for a long time. And while I’ve cleared an immense amount of anger, it still visits at times.

Unraveling the Ties That Bind Us

Unraveling the ties that bind us to co-dependent behaviors, letting go of expectations, trusting, and releasing the need for certain outcomes allows the higher vibration deep within our inner temple that knows all is perfectly orchestrated for our awakening. There are no exceptions. Every person is waking according to their own divine timing, even those who seem deeply buried in the denseness of separation consciousnesses.

These are the lessons we learn after falling over and over again into the same hole until it is healed permanently and the sacred wound exists no more. Healing the mother daughter wound passed down through generations of women dissolves the cycle of victim, perpetrator and savior for all of humanity.

Copyright 2023. All Rights Reserved.
Adapted with permission of the author/publisher.

Book by this Author: Life Is a Song of Love

Life Is a Song of Love: A Woman's Spiritual Journey of the Heart and Womb
by Sally Patton.

For more info and/or to order this book, click hereAlso available as a Kindle edition. 

About the Author

photo of Sally Patton

Sally Patton, Ed.M. Child Development advocated and worked for children with special needs for over 35 years. Between 2002 and 2013, she wrote about and conducted Involve workshops on ministering to children with special needs labels in faith communities and on spiritual parenting of atypical children. She also offered private consultations for parents who were interested in exploring the spiritual questions that arise from parenting a child with a special needs label.

Since ending her Involve Trainings in 2013, Sally expanded her spiritual awareness through a deep contemplative practice. She now writes, consults and conducts workshops on women's spiritual and transformational journey to reclaim our divine feminine essence in order to dissolve and heal lifetimes and decades of patriarchal conditioning. 

Visit her website at    

More books by this Author.